Wednesday, August 29, 2007


A look at the hours.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Eviscerated baby dolls freckle the butcher coats of the Beatles' original jacket for the "Yesterday and Today" album. After one day on the shelves, Columbia Records recalled the morbid sleeves, and replaced them with a more pleasant "trunk" cover.

Evolutionary theory relies completely on inherent death. Without death, adaptation could not occur. You, Leo, are Columbia Records. The Unfamiliar frightens you, yet it seems that you are intrinsically capable of adaptation. Do not take back what you've committed; flourish in it.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Hands above your head
Que le via bien
Step out of line and we'll fill you with lead
How are we to know that you are not a liar
Don't you see we have a job to do
And our job is the law, job is the law
You fit the description of a criminal crosser
We believe that he is you and that is your flaw
That is your flaw
That is your flaw
That is your flaw
That is your flaw
That is your flaw
That is your flaw

(Dispatch, Open Up.)

It's about as hard to swallow a flaw as it is a compliment, Virgo. A pseudo-Vietnam has been brewing in you as of late--now it's up to you to be the wrongful victim or the man at the other side of the gun.

Or, you could just stop taking those orders! And I'm not talking about men in striped Prada, silk-lined jackets or curled wigs and javels, no! I'm talking about that voice of neurosis spinning webs around your actions and thoughts. Think and be! It's harder than you'd think.

Libra (September 23-October 23)

On the French Revolution, Fran├žois Mignet remarks that

"The French revolution was to change the political state of Europe, to terminate the strife of kings among themselves, and to commence that between kings and people. This would have taken place much later had not the kings themselves provoked it. They sought to suppress the revolution, and they extended it; for by attacking it they were to render it victorious."

This revolution spawned a "humane" method of execution, the guillotine. The first fatality was a man of broad shoulders and a thick neck, one whose head did not sever on the first drop of the blade. Dr. Guillotine, the creator of his torturous namesake, then proclaimed that he did not want his name to be associated with this monster, yet it lives to this day.

You have been associated to something for so long. Your name is on it. Yet, you've finally found the courage to purge this long-lived torture. I am also proud of you, Libra, for you are the queen who did not attack.

Scorpio(October 24-November 22)

The Thai and Burmese women of the Karen Tribe place several heavy, gold rings around their necks and collar bones, in order to elongate said features. However, the origin of this antiquated practice is unknown. Their necks become so malleable and brittle from the rings that, in time, the rings support their necks. You, Scorpio, have practiced something so long, you are clueless as to why, and now, you are stuck with it. See fit to step out of this grudge or routine. Don't obliterate it, just evolve it! It's time.

Friday, August 24, 2007

So, I spilled some ice cream milk at work today

And my boss cried.

(Horoscopes soon! I promise.)

Thursday, August 9, 2007

In Case of Fire box- 1/3

A look at the hours.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

The tempestuous brainchild of Elin O'Hara Slavick and Beth Grabowski, Familial Letdown comprises of three main figures: a baby suckling at a mother dripping red ink, a lurking father hunched in the dank space, and the skinny blue tree emerging from the soil. This represents you, an untamed yet kempt weed, reaching for the consuming bond of the mother and child.
Grabowski began the painting with simple ink and pencil--abused media. Slavick then adopted the painting, utilizing only domestic media, ketchup, jam, syrup, and soil. This two-parent birth of Familial Letdown reinforces your need for a paternal guide. Seek. Find, accept. Do not bleed today.

Taurus (April 20- May 20)

"According to act-utilitarianism, it is the value of the consequences of the particular act that counts when determining whether the act is right." Bentham's theory is act-utilitarian, and so is that of J.J.C. Smart.
Josh- we discussed this, in a sense, when we discussed the equation of a lie. The outcomes defined the severity of the lie, and that, we deduced, since pain could possibly be quantitative, there might be an equation to determine whether or not to lie.
So, in turn, is there an equation for everything? Can one apply an art to a science or a science to an art? Is lying an art or science?
Once I lied to you, and refrained from doing so for a while. Do you think this is included in the equation?

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

In old days I used to be miserable at seeming ridiculous. Not seeming, but being. I have always been ridiculous, and I have known it, perhaps, from the hour I was born. Perhaps from the time I was seven years old I knew I was ridiculous. Afterwards I went to school, studied at the university, and, do you know, the more I learned, the more thoroughly I understood that I was ridiculous. So that it seemed in the end as though all the sciences I studied at the university existed only to prove and make evident to me as I went more deeply into them that I was ridiculous. It was the same with life as it was with science. With every year the same consciousness of the ridiculous figure I cut in every relation grew and strengthened.
-Dostoyevsky, from "The Dream of a Ridiculous Man"
A friend of mine was born on the final day of the Gemini, yet consistently portrays the Twin sign to a tee. She knows this by heart, studies Russian, and eats spontaneously. Gemini, like Susan, you are not a machine. My advice is to let your last inhibition free, don't set sites, set milestones, and eat breakfast at night, like Emma Ruth Wilson at the Round Table. In fact, converse with a Sagittarius today. They have decrepid, yet wise souls, much the opposite of you.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

When the first atomic bomb hit the earth (on the first day of Cancer, no less), two atomic eras materialized: a bleak, destructive culture, and a kitschy, nuclear farse. Your explosive personality will subside for the time being, as you tap into your comedic side, feverishly laughing, exploring, and pursuing. You are Miss Atomic Bomb, 1957.

this is the museum!

China Davis productivity is pretty idle these days. I have managed to


Emma and I rummaged through Ryan's book crate with an insatiable hunger. We were muddy piglets, eyes digesting every maze and poem.

Emma: Maybe someone'll throw Lenny some change, right?

Yes'm, we all need a little change.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Fuck Esperanto, Ask Me Why.

Julia Child was widely known as a drunk chef, but she invented the first shark repellent. When she was a secret agent. Like Chuck Barris.

I learned this on Shark Week, one of many wonderful programs brought to you by the Discovery Channel.

FAke cake>

Stringy hair plastered. The year is 1998. There is black construction paper in the windows.

Stringy hair plastered. The year might be 1998. There is a treasure chest filled with my vomit; I remain pathetic.

And you're empathetic?

Well, the glasses get thicker and the frames get thinner, and suddenly, 9 years are gon e. Good Ole MacDougall thought souls weighed 21 g, but I'm sure his weighed more.

Why can't I be done with this?